"Heavenly Father grant my groin relief..."

- Zeke Wikkins

There was silence on the other end of the com for a minute, and then yet a third voice spoke. =/\= "We've put her combadge next to her ear, sir." =/\=

=/\= "D'Tinya, can you hear me?" =/\= Victor's voice hadn't changed, but its inflection had, making it less overtly menacing but no less disturbing.

After a second, the voice of the nurse responded, =/\= "She can, sir. She just can't speak." =/\=

=/\= "Listen carefully, D'Tinya," =/\= Victor said, each word distinct and sharp as broken glass. =/\= "Permission granted." =/\=

There was a gasp from the other end of the com, as if someone had received a sudden relief from something terrible, and the voice of the nurse whispered in an oddly frightened, subdued voice, "=/\= "She's gone, sir." =/\=

- Death of Ahdjiia D'Tinya in the line of duty

Victor reflected that her misinterpretation was at least better than swapping him with Leo Streeley and saying that he'd been Princess DeV'oraH's love-slave. "Lt. Grey is mute. Flight Officer Angelienia is a bitch. Neither of them are my girlfriend," he replied tonelessly.

- Victor explaining his love life.

"Mummy says nasty ho's always get what they deserve"

- Samantha Widdlestein

"Beaked maw capable of taking the nose off a shuttlepod." 

- Victor Kreighoff about the Francosian Land Kraken

"You know, Lieutenant," Savar said, with a little smile, attempting, albeit clumsily, to lighten the situation, "if you ever got tired of Starfleet, I suspect the Tal Shiar would love to hear from you."

- To Victor

"House rule numero uno :The seat is ALWAYS down. Even if we're barreling into a supernova. Seat...down. Why are you men incapable of doing the simplest of tasks?" Zeke eyed her warily. "Why is it that a woman will look at every seat that she sits upon BUT that one?" Kelly put her hands on her hips. "I don't have time for your typical male irrationality! Now if you dont mind."

"Mind? It matters not that a woman takes temporary leave of her senses when she nears molded porcelain. It is a man's cross to bear." he said looking at her before he finally understood what she was referring to and awkwardly exited the bathroom.

- Zeke and Kelly

That teddy bear, originally named Teddy and later renamed Eptgac (Evil Play Thing Given by Anti Christ), had received a large number of 8-ball's temper tantrums and a good deal of pain and torture.

- 8-Ball Hunter lamenting love for her teddy bear

"Sh*t, though inaccurate, is surprisingly apt, if my memory of the use of this word is accurate." T'lan stonily stated.

- Security Officer T'Lan, written by Dallas

"You're someone to us!" "YEAH!" The other ensigns piped in unison.

A collection of cross armed, straight lipped security officers solidified their point. "You're the only high ranking officer outside security that visits us.... without breaking the law."

"YEAH!" "You bring us cookies... nobody brings us cookies."

- Rose and Security

"FFFFFFFFFF************************************************KKKKK!!!!"

The longest expletive ever uttered in the history of extensive expletives uttered from the hell borne mouth of James Lionel Corgan happened on this Stardate, 50404.5.

It lasted for 26.3 seconds (as noted by Lieutenant T'lan, and though her Vulcan calm usually kept a strong shield against Corgan's verbal kamehameh's, this one brought a sickly green shade to her face). A few weeks later, there would be a plaque erected by the security crew for that feat.

- Corgan on yet another rant

*GOT ANY TIPS ON HOW TO KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO A GUY. I MEAN, I NEED A REAL WINNER HERE AND NOT JUST SOME 'BE YOURSELF' CRAP*

"No bullshit, no be yourself real advice to get the guy. In all seriousness?" he asked but didn’t pause for her to answer "Find out where he lives, go in before he gets off his shift and wait for him with a big red bow on," Colby broke out of the serious tone and smiled, "Just the bow. And in case you're wondering my quarters are on Deck five."

~Ella and Colby on seduction advice

Pad shuddered. "Who could forget Jaal? I hated that bastard. Never listened to me. And Mekaela?" She whistled between her teeth. "Hot as the steam baths. But her personality made ice look warm."

~Talking about one of Corran's hosts. And I always love a "mekaela" reference.

"In few words, you just want to say, that you f**ked alien."

- Vladism on Corgan and yet another alien sex fling.

"Starfleet Intelligence isn't."

- Emmett Bregman

"What's come up today in the life of the Borg Tantric Master?"

"Well, nothing today.", Ahdjiia said, "Though when I first arrived on the ship, not long after we were boarded by Orion pirates and had to deal with pheremone emitting fembots who had all the males on board in a state of heightened sexual arousal."

"REALLY?" 8-ball asked, much interested. "Man, did I come on this ship in the wrong month."

- 8-Ball and D'Tinya

"It's not my fault she couldnt handle my manley minstrations!"

- Leo Streeley written by Zeke Wikkins

'She had not consumed strong alcohol until today and it was rather enjoyable. She noticed that the physique of the security officer looked even better than it had prior to the drink.'

- Atole Tekri remarking on James Corgan

~"Why can't they just f**k off?"~ Sighed the chief, as he dived back into his work.

- James Corgan in reference to yet more demands for his attention by the many women on board.

Feeling lonely?

Tired?

Incredibly frisky?

You need Lt. Cmdr. Corgan!

Always there for your quick and dirty needs, Lt. Cmdr. Corgan has a proven track record with many other members of the crew (and even more outside it!) as an inadvertant male giggalo. Just watch these testimonies...

"The things he promised to do to me... mmmmmmm..." Sub Centurion Atole Tekri, USS Galaxy.

"He's weird, and hard to understand, but... Noodles! What a great guy! Say, what is this for again?" Commander Rebecca Von Ernst, unknown assignment.

"He's a good person. I really wanted to make love to him." Ambassador Mika Sh'Sonora, lanjep.

"I will ravage him in ways worthy Kahless himself!" Princess Dev'oH'rah, Klingon Empire.

"Why the smeg are you asking me?" Commander Lysander Van Der Puls Hawksley, unknown assignment.

Hey, don't just take their words for it. Take ours! Lt. Cmdr. Corgan's secret is his patented double charm action, a combination of gentlemanly niceness and total cluelessness! He's great for parties, in the shuttle, and of course... the bedchambers!

Don't wait! Order your Lt. Cmdr. Corgan now!

- Dallas on the OOC list in response to the many comments on his manly prowess in writing.

Colby chuckled, "I don't even know who that is. I'm actually pretty new to this little boat." Elliot shrugged and took a drink of his beer, “So, let me get those straight. The guy can't take a hint, even when you type nice and flirty on your PADD, and if you showed up naked he'd just think you had the wrong room? Is he gay?"

She laughed again. *HE'S NOT. HE'S JUST, WELL, VICTOR. *

- Colby Elliot and Ella Grey upon discussing Victor's rejection of Ella when she tried to seduce him with Colby's advice.