“Ass such, one of his many duties was pilot evaluations”

- a typo by Pat Weber

"You're not happy. You're docile. It's creepy."

- Elaithin Jii to his wife

“I don't work myself into a coma, Jii. It's a stupor. There's a difference."

- Jerri Wolfson

"She's dead now. Let it go and move on."

- Victor Krieghoff at D’Tinya’s wake

He examined the pastry in his hands, as if his intellect could deduce it's ingredients...It was illogical to put anything in one's mouth that one could not tell where it had been nor what was in it. However, his illogical human half was winning the argument.

- Selock

“Son eh? Does that mean I can call you 'dad'?"

"Only if you want to spend the next ten years scrubbing the outside of the hull with a toothbrush."

- Mark and Gabriel Mahler

Wikkins stared in horror, his heart nearly stopping in his chest.

There before the him on the stage stood four demons from hell's very bowel - covered in leather and chains with spikes protruding from everywhere. He staggered backwards crossing himself as the man with a star branded over his eye began to wail into a microphone.

"LORD IN HEAVEN!! PROTECT ME!!" Zeke screamed as he staggered backwards, nearly toppling over his seat.

- Zeke Wikkins at the KISS concert

"Okay now grab that black thingy and stick it in that thingy with the hole in it" instructed the Hazard officer.

"Such technical descriptions. You should be an engineer!"

- Imanol Harinordoquy and Ariss Edon

"Do you know what's up? Why we're all having to go back?"

"Got me," he said. "But I heard that the Vulcans declared war on the entire Federation."

"Kid, the Vulcans are IN the Federation."

"I know, but apparantly there's this huge mass case of Pon Farr that's hit the whole race and now they're all crazy and psycho and want to kill everybody. . . or screw them, I guess. I don't know.”

- 8Ball Hunter and ensign

“I've been on this domestic kick recently and have about forty-thousand batches of brownies, cakes, and other chocolate delicacies that will make the entire ship fat but a hellova lot less depressed."ix it!"

- Kit Jordan to Jerri Wolfson

There was also the pesky problem of James ending up with women whom always seemed to be a bad choice. A widow wanting to remarry too fast (MacAllen), a Romulan spy that wanted him dead or on his back (Tekri), a dominatrix (Princess DeV'oraH), a coma victim with a change of personality (Lexa Reece), a humble Andorian diplomat turned were-ass kicker (Mika sh'Sonora), and a midget with genius that skirted insanity (Rebecca Von Ernst).

The list would do Tom Paris and Harry Kim proud.

- James Corgan’s thoughts on his girl troubles

Shinta and Arel were friends.
Arel was a Commander.
Arel was his boss.
He was here.
Watching.
If Arel finds out!

"Oh Prophets!"

- Ariss Edon, connecting the dots

It had been a long day, that's for sure. Shopping was hard.

- Aristi Ferguson

"Feeling a little under-sized today, Mister Mitchell?"

- Emmett Bregman

"Yes, well, your attempt to bait me into revealing something won't work, Pee-Wee. I'm a two woman kind of guy.”

~James Mitchell to Emmett Bregman

"Just because less than 0.137% of the Vulcan population currently practice Catholicism, it did not mean that the other 99.863% are not in error.

- T’Lan

"Mitchell, do us all a favor and go shove it in a meat grinder."

- Arel Smith to James Mitchell

"Oh come on, Peter, you can say it," 8-ball told the screen. "Just say, 'Eat me, Uncle Ben. You're dead already. Stop taking up my screen time."

- 8Ball watches Spiderman 2

"Our Chief Engineer has a theory about the mating habits of padds. I'm one to agree with her assesment. No-one ever comes in here, but the padds seem to increase in number.

- Felicia Khatrowena on computer PADDs

Humans were intelligent, adaptable and innovative, and worse, they were so damn nice about it!

- Atole Tekri

"Well. We'll just have to see if I get off around then too."

- Heather Sanchez to Carter, after he says what time he gets off of work.

Jan slowly turned the PADD over and over in his hands, studying the smooth gray plastic of its makeup carefully. He gingerly touched the glowing blue text of Ella's apology with hesitant finger and jumped a bit when it made a soft BEEP.

Jan's eyebrows shot up in amazement and he tapped the screen again.

BLOOP.

A wide smile spread over his pale features and he shot Ella a look of sheer fascinated joy.

Ella raised both eyebrows as her eyes widened.

BEEP BEEP BLOOP BEEP BLOOP BLOOP BEEP BEEP BEEP BLOOP..........

- Ella Grey

And what's Yoga? Isn't he some small green guy in a Terran 2D?

- Mack

"Um...Ma'am, you might not want to..." he moved his hand to tap her shoulder, to let her know that he was beside her.

Bad move...

Still oblivious to anyone else (and having her head literally stuck into her fighter), Tish was somewhat surprised to feel something touch her on her shoulder. Quickly, she grabbed the hand...

~Oh, shit.~ Pete thought...

Twisted it...

*CRACK!*

And pulled *whoever* it was forward, using the person's momentum and body-weight to throw her 'assailant' to the deck...

"MY HAND!" Pete wailed, while noticing the odd angle it was turned to...

- Pete and T'Shani

"What are you doing?"

"Page 76. Definitive Manual of the Intimate."

"Ohh..keep reading."

- Atole Tekri and James Corgan

"'Interesting' is a word that Counselors use when they mean 'why are you allowed to walk around and interact with normal people,'"

- Victor Krieghoff

You won't find yourself where you think you will. Meaning always comes from the places you least expect it."

"Wow," Arel said dryly. "That's the kind of saying they should tattoo on someone's ass."

- Arel Smith and Mike

'It's big, bad and oogly. Sounds like an old girlfriend,'

- Paulo

"HOLY SHIT! THE BOSS SENT A T-REX AFTER US!"

- O'Rourke reacts to the TREX

Jack reached out to grab the Breen's shoulder. In turn, the alien threw an offending punch in his direction. Easily avoiding it, Jack connected with a well placed knee to the Breen's midsection causing the monstrosity to double over. Not hesitating for a moment, Jack quickly slammed his clasped fists down onto the back of its neck.

At least, that's how it happened in his mind.

In reality, Jack simply gritted his teeth.

- Jack Dawson in Engineering with the Breen observer.

Thanks go out to Mekaela for contributing quotes. I'd be lost without her.