"A Vulcan sense of humour?"

"We have no humour. Only experiments." T'lan quipped.
~Corgan and T'Lan

=/\= "Its from the Ten Forewarrrd's emerrrgency dump chute. We filled it with some old cooking aprrrons and set them on firrre. It's an old Earrrth custom, Leo says. The smoke denotes the election of a new leaderrr." =/\=

Behind them, Leo had placed a long drinking vial into the woman's cleavage and laying on the floor where the woman was

"Mr. Bosco, I want you to dump the refuse immediately. I cannot have items burning on this ship. Further more, would you please inform the...Ambassador that he is not permitted to set fire to anything while aboard the USS GALAXY. M'Kantu out!"
~Leo Streely (Written shortly after the recent Pope was elected)

"If you would care to, we could make small talk now," T'Ashaya offered. "If you would prefer otherwise, please do not feel it necessary to engage in it. Some people prefer it more than others. I find the weather quite pleasant, however, and most agreeable as a topic for conversation in these cases. Do you not agree?"
~T'Ashaya

And if, somehow his sperm had the durability of Khan's supermen and the survivabilty of a Klingon deep scout, and even then if Romulan women came with a freezer in every uterus, then there wouldn't be any doubt whether or not the child was a result of genetic implantation.
~Corgan's rationale when finding out Atole Tekri was pregnant.

Indigo groaned. "Romulan ale should be illegal."

Ella's hands appeared from under the pillow.

Indy scowled. "Yeah, I *know* it's illegal. It should just be more illegal. Like really, really hard to find. You should have to travel twenty miles barefoot up a spintered wood and broken glass path up a mountain in the desert to reach a tiny monestary with a million steps and a man who doesn't speak Federation Standard and likes to stroke his beard emphatically and do the funky chicken *naked* before you are able to purchase this stuff."
~Ella, Indigo, and 8-Ball during "Girls Night Out"

"You're running a booth to give out loads of headshrinker advice? Sweet Jesus, whatever happened to lemonade?"
~ 8-Ball Hunter to Para-Psychiatrist Sam Widdlestein

"You will *not* deploy with the Marines for any reason whatsoever."
~Captain M'Kantu to 14-years-old Samantha Widdlestein, after assigning Marine Lieutenant Branwen London as her mentor.

"If we do manage to make it through without incident," Karyn replied, "I'll give up raktajino for a month."
~Counselor Dallas, optimistic as ever...

A marine psychologist in her quarters was every bit as likely as a blond bodybuilder with a smart brain, good heart, and an engagement ring in her quarters.
~8-Ball pondering about Branwen London

if he'd wanted sleep, he'd have gone to see a counsellor and let them talk at him for twenty minutes. That'd put you to sleep, guaranteed, or your money back.
~Miramon Terrik about the advantages of counseling sessions

"Yeah, she's pretty sexy. . .in a dangerous, I could kick your ass-uber dominitrax evil sort of way."
~8'Ball about T'Shani's hotness

~~Why can you NEVER stay out of trouble?~~

"I get paid to find it, Grey"

~Ella Grey finally find out what her studmuffin Victor Kreighoff do for a living.

"…If you are not inside of the gym in ten seconds I'll shove your head up your ass so you gain a little insight of yourself.."
~2nd. Lieutenant Baile gives the word 'Introspection' a whole new meaning.

"You know Lieutenant, Engineering is going to sh*t kittens when they find out about your quarters modifications"
~Commander Corgan about Lt. Kreighoff's 'internal decorations'.

"It's a lung, Commander," Victor replied blandly. "To the best of my knowledge, I breathe with it."
~It's no secret that Victor Kreighoff, like many other Starfleet officers, has indeed an extensive knowledge in anatomy…

"Jesus Christ Henderson, have some respect, will you?"

~James Corgan to an ungentle security guard.

“The Universe does not send me to places where all there is to do is stand around and smell the flowers, Grey – unless the flowers are going to try and eat someone.”
~Victor Kreighoff stands around and smells the flowers.

"You'd probably make a nice purse."
~Admiral Proctor to the Hydran Commander.

"Right now, the only thing I can deduct about the people who lived here is this : They're dead."
~Saul Bental's professional opinion about the extincted natives of Mirusa.

"if we end up in some nether realm, I'm gonna kick your butt to the other nether realm."
~Naranda Sol Roswell threatens with transdimensional buttkicking

"Oh, please. Modesty is just an invention of the untalented."
~Sam to Branwen on her first foray into therapy.

With the help of Saul, she had convinced her closest friends, co-workers and superiors of her death. Then she wasn't dead. There had to be some kind of law against that.
~Nara, about faking her own death

“Adults don't make sense."
~Saia

Family.

It is the first alliance you're bound to when you're born. If you're 'lucky', it is also the grieving farewell party when you're perish. And in between, it is a major pain in the rear.

~Saul

"Me hurt. Me need happy pills."
-Corgan

~~Where the hell have you been?~~

“Away.”

~~Elaborate.~~ Ella signed, cranky.

He shook his head. “I can’t tell you.”

The look on her face didn't need to be translated.

~Ella and Victor

"I would like to present," Sam said cheerfully "Romeo and Juliet, the way it should have been."

What followed was truly a memorable, if not confusing as all hell, version of the play. It held most similarity to the original in that the characters had the same name. Other than that, well, no one really knew why the play was set on Qo'nos even though all the characters were human or why a pirate ship kept appearing in the backdrop with the words 'Thief of my heart- sale!
3 bars of gold pressed latinum" on its sails.

It was amusing though to see an enraged Juliet kick Romeo off the balcony for spying on her and an actor dressed up like John Q. Brodhe as the Nurse.

Samantha bowed at the end, managing to block all the actors in the process, and graciously received the flowers she had sent herself.

~Sam at the talent show

"Hi, Mr. Wolf," 8-ball said. "You're. . .you're a nice wolf. Good wolf. Good. My name's 8-ball, and I'd take it as a personal kindness if you found it in your wolfy heart not to eat me. I think. . .I think we'd both be happy. You'd find out that I didn't taste very good and I'd find out that I was dead and that'd be sad for both us, wouldn't it? So. . .so I'm going to go now, go walk over to my quarters now and go hide there and you're not going to follow because you're a good wolf who doesn't want to eat me, okay?"
~8-ball, talking to a wolf

~~You are the most frustrating man in the universe! Do you know that?! I'm not leaving because I'm afraid of you, you big baboon! I thought it'd be better for you if I weren't around, if my nightmares are gonna cause you to have any more early morning chats with Dallas or need to start fixing all the problems in my life. I could give a flying fuck whether you turn all Prince of Darkness on me, which you're still kinda doing by the way. I just wanted you to get a whole hour of sleep without worrying about me or having to right all the wrongs in the and on the Galaxy.
~Ella, to Victor

Samantha looked at the ends of her hair in disgust. "They were so perfect this morning."

Branwen hid a smile. "Don't worry, they will dry."

"Sshh." Sam said raising a hand. "I'm brooding."

~Sam and Bran

Branwen steepled her fingers the old-fashioned way. "You are so young, why do you think a shrink would be out to get you?"

"Because they shrinks?" Samantha asked sarcastically. "You guys sneak out all sorts of information out of people. Well, it won't work on me, Branwen."
She tapped her forehead. "I'm a genius, remember?

***Five minutes later****

"No one ever takes me seriously." Samantha sobbed to her therapist.

~Bran and Sam

He preferred to sleep without a shirt, as the fabric tended to bunch up, and well, that just got damned uncomfortable.
~Corran

"Now," 8-ball said as the idiotic ensign struggled. "While you're here and I have your attention, let me explain some things to you. First, when you're going to pick on people, remember to do it to people who are both intellectually and physically weaker than you are. Since I can't imagine that there are many people on the ship who meet those qualifications, you might want to rethink your newfound career of being a bully. Second, when you're going to tease somebody about what they're wearing, remember that clothes are optional in many cultures, and just because you're a total geek-boy virgin, that's no reason to be jealous of other half naked people who obviously have a much more fulfilling sex life than you. Third and finally, if you're going to harass MY BOYFRIEND and joke around that he doesn't wear the pants in the relationship, try and get it through your thick, hardheaded skull that a girl like me needs a man who's, shall we say, vigorous, and the sex that WE have is so much better than all your masturbation fantasies that you'd be prematurely squirting your shorts before anyone could say 'Little Boy Limp Dick'.

"Now," 8-ball said, "do you have something that you'd like to say, or do we need to repeat the lesson?"

~8-ball, explaining “the rules of life” to a guy being mean to her boyfriend.

Samantha had looked at her canvas with despair for more than twenty minutes.

Painting was not her thing. *HER* art was that of theater, if any thing.
Life imating art imitating life, etc. That and making buttons. She bet that Saia girl would have enjoyed art therapy.

And how she really felt? Samantha made a large 'pfft' noise. As if a piece of rectangular cloth could convey the deep meaning and psychological intent of Samantha Widdlestein.

~Sam

“Explain to me, would you, what in the 'verse is wrong with females of ANY species?"
~Corran Rex

He mumbled as he took a step back. Much to his dismay, he could actually feel himself blushing. Intelligence officers aren't supposed to blush! They're supposed smirk, have hidden superpowers, drink Vodka Martini, and keep poker face at all times. Or at least three of the items on the said list.
~Saul

"Did I give you permission to bitch, soldier?"
~Greg Ward

Friends didn’t let friends die on alien worlds if they could help it.
~Victor

Saul's forehead slightly furrowed at the sound of his old classmate's voice.
As he turned around, his mind absorbed and recognized a few, simple fact :

A) The speaker was 8-Ball. B) The speaker was 8-Ball, who sounded rather irritated and overly frisky. C) The speaker was 8-Ball, who sounded rather irritated and overly frisky, and she was asking him about Naranda and Branwen D) The speaker was 8-Ball, who sounded rather irritated and overly frisky, and she was asking him about Naranda and Branwen using the word 'FUCK'. E) 8-Ball plus Irritated plus Nara and Bran plus FUCK equals not good.

Well, there was something to be said in favor of an Intelligence officer's sharp mind and quick thinking.

~Saul, about 8-ball

"Stop being bitter that you aren't a fictional character."
~8-ball to herself.

"Victor," Ella yelled as she climbed. "I do NOT give you permission to be blown into little bits."
~Ella

Ella wanted to laugh at this test. Tell the truth... or die. But she was more furious than anything.

"I hate watermelon."

Nothing.

"I don't like the color pink."

Nothing.

She drew in a breath. "I imagine Victor naked from time to time."

The wall moved back.

Ella snorted. Inanimate objects interested in her love life, or lack there of. Great.

~Ella, having to tell the truth about Victor Krieghoff

"I think I love you, Grey."
~Victor, because OHMYGOD, he actually said it. . .of course, not to her face

"YOU SPEAK IN BLASPHEMOUS TONGUE TO US?!" The female snarled.

"I sure as f**k do!" Corgan hollered back.

-Corgan